Or, why I sometimes make myself step away from the keyboard:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/linda-sto
The article sums up a base current in my life right now, during this transitional phase from five years of intense study into building my independent artist's life ("You mean, I did all this school and I still have to start from scratch?" "Yes, but now you can knock on doors - and open them - and throw yourself in the paths of opportunities you didn't have access to before."): under significant pressure to get out there, make (art) work, find (revenue generating) work and generally establish myself as worthy, competent, creative, etc. in my chosen and rather broad field, I am yet rather exhausted.
Not without some internal struggle, I've been focusing on really making my new apartment my home, since the move took place as thesis crunch time began and most of the settling in process was necessarily delayed (never mind the herniated disc, sciatic nerve root compression injury). So, I've been unpacking all those remaining boxes, sorting and organizing stuff that was hastily packed or unpacked, all with various chains of dependency. For example, now that I put down shelf paper, I have unpacked all the pots, pans and utensils, which means now I can start cooking more, which means I'll be eating better food, which will improve my overall health and leave me more energized for meeting the challenges before me.
Visiting various friends in Ottawa and Montréal (the West Island, actually) last week and eating home cooked meals (several of which I helped prepare) provided some culinary inspiration. Just yesterday, I wandered into the local Bulk Barn and bought various ingredients for soups, stews and healthier treats (moratorium on cheese curls and ice cream now in effect), as well as an assortment of rolled grains and seeds to make various custom porridge combinations. I also picked up fresh vegetables and am going to make my mushroom barley stew this afternoon.
Feeling overwhelmed at times by all the work that lies ahead (plus my dwindling bank account and finding another roommate for next month), it is perhaps counter-intuitive that what I need most to do right now is simplify my life, slow down and take care of the basics, some of which have been long neglected, or at least de-prioritized. Even when I've known consciously, intellectually, this is the best place to start my life's next chapter, emotional patterns stemming from anxiety have interfered with actually getting the basics done. I need to rest, relax and recharge, even if that's not all I do each day, but being anxious about work, money, creative success/failure hasn't allowed me to get that rest (except one day when I was unwell, didn't go to my cousin's wedding and spent the day in my pajamas, in bed, reading and napping).
Escaping into perpetual email, Facebook and Craig's List checking is a kind of stress relief that works around the anxiety because, well, being at one's computer means one is getting Important Things done, too. Several hours of TV in the evening, while eating dinner and what often becomes an extended dessert, feels like a reward at the end of the day. But screen-based stress relief is not a strategy that deals with root causes, though it is sometimes necessary mid-stream (e.g. while still working on my thesis) or useful short-term. Being a root-cause-oriented sort of person, I can usually recognize this even when in the midst of it, and am able to take steps out of it, though often slowly. When screen time becomes one's primary means of relief is when it can have a subtle, spreading, detrimental effect on other areas of living.
So, I'm going out now to buy a small non-stick frying pan with which to try a repeat of (or variation on) a fresh herb and tomato omelet I made in Ottawa and to see if I can find yeast-free vegetable bullion cubes with which to make broth for my stew. I've decided to go off wheat and dairy for awhile (though not too strictly, as when at restaurants), plus just eating more whole foods, fewer processed foods in general, to get my body feeling better. I actually enjoy cooking and am not half bad at it, and it is really an important indicator of life balance, the degree to which I am preparing my own food. Here's to adjusting the balance in the face of immanent stressors.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/linda-sto
The article sums up a base current in my life right now, during this transitional phase from five years of intense study into building my independent artist's life ("You mean, I did all this school and I still have to start from scratch?" "Yes, but now you can knock on doors - and open them - and throw yourself in the paths of opportunities you didn't have access to before."): under significant pressure to get out there, make (art) work, find (revenue generating) work and generally establish myself as worthy, competent, creative, etc. in my chosen and rather broad field, I am yet rather exhausted.
Not without some internal struggle, I've been focusing on really making my new apartment my home, since the move took place as thesis crunch time began and most of the settling in process was necessarily delayed (never mind the herniated disc, sciatic nerve root compression injury). So, I've been unpacking all those remaining boxes, sorting and organizing stuff that was hastily packed or unpacked, all with various chains of dependency. For example, now that I put down shelf paper, I have unpacked all the pots, pans and utensils, which means now I can start cooking more, which means I'll be eating better food, which will improve my overall health and leave me more energized for meeting the challenges before me.
Visiting various friends in Ottawa and Montréal (the West Island, actually) last week and eating home cooked meals (several of which I helped prepare) provided some culinary inspiration. Just yesterday, I wandered into the local Bulk Barn and bought various ingredients for soups, stews and healthier treats (moratorium on cheese curls and ice cream now in effect), as well as an assortment of rolled grains and seeds to make various custom porridge combinations. I also picked up fresh vegetables and am going to make my mushroom barley stew this afternoon.
Feeling overwhelmed at times by all the work that lies ahead (plus my dwindling bank account and finding another roommate for next month), it is perhaps counter-intuitive that what I need most to do right now is simplify my life, slow down and take care of the basics, some of which have been long neglected, or at least de-prioritized. Even when I've known consciously, intellectually, this is the best place to start my life's next chapter, emotional patterns stemming from anxiety have interfered with actually getting the basics done. I need to rest, relax and recharge, even if that's not all I do each day, but being anxious about work, money, creative success/failure hasn't allowed me to get that rest (except one day when I was unwell, didn't go to my cousin's wedding and spent the day in my pajamas, in bed, reading and napping).
Escaping into perpetual email, Facebook and Craig's List checking is a kind of stress relief that works around the anxiety because, well, being at one's computer means one is getting Important Things done, too. Several hours of TV in the evening, while eating dinner and what often becomes an extended dessert, feels like a reward at the end of the day. But screen-based stress relief is not a strategy that deals with root causes, though it is sometimes necessary mid-stream (e.g. while still working on my thesis) or useful short-term. Being a root-cause-oriented sort of person, I can usually recognize this even when in the midst of it, and am able to take steps out of it, though often slowly. When screen time becomes one's primary means of relief is when it can have a subtle, spreading, detrimental effect on other areas of living.
So, I'm going out now to buy a small non-stick frying pan with which to try a repeat of (or variation on) a fresh herb and tomato omelet I made in Ottawa and to see if I can find yeast-free vegetable bullion cubes with which to make broth for my stew. I've decided to go off wheat and dairy for awhile (though not too strictly, as when at restaurants), plus just eating more whole foods, fewer processed foods in general, to get my body feeling better. I actually enjoy cooking and am not half bad at it, and it is really an important indicator of life balance, the degree to which I am preparing my own food. Here's to adjusting the balance in the face of immanent stressors.
One external structure I decided to impose on myself is that of National Novel Writing Month: *deep breath* yes, after discussing it with ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif)
fredfred at Word on the Street yesterday, I decided today to make the commitment, so I created a user account and am now also 'rackle' on the NaNoWriMo website. What better time than this ripe opening in my life? What better way to structure the (rapid) birth of another project while building the aforementioned foundations? I will use it as a tool to develop a fiction film idea that's been floating around my thoughts for a few years, writing it as a story first (since script writing is not something I've done yet). 50000 words in a month. 1667 words a day. My thesis paper is over 26000 deeply thought about, researched and edited words, largely written over three months. Surely, I can bang out double that in unedited raw material in a third of the time, especially if I spend October planning and outlining. I mean, this is just the thing, a refreshing change from academic writing, to help me work more freely from the paralyzing effects of high expectations and self-criticism. Like the rest of my life, we'll see how it goes.
fredfred at Word on the Street yesterday, I decided today to make the commitment, so I created a user account and am now also 'rackle' on the NaNoWriMo website. What better time than this ripe opening in my life? What better way to structure the (rapid) birth of another project while building the aforementioned foundations? I will use it as a tool to develop a fiction film idea that's been floating around my thoughts for a few years, writing it as a story first (since script writing is not something I've done yet). 50000 words in a month. 1667 words a day. My thesis paper is over 26000 deeply thought about, researched and edited words, largely written over three months. Surely, I can bang out double that in unedited raw material in a third of the time, especially if I spend October planning and outlining. I mean, this is just the thing, a refreshing change from academic writing, to help me work more freely from the paralyzing effects of high expectations and self-criticism. Like the rest of my life, we'll see how it goes.Thesis revisions are done and so ends this grad school chapter of my life.
( Endings )
( Middles )
( Beginnings )
( Endings )
( Middles )
( Beginnings )
Defended successfully this morning, though toward the end of it I felt myself wobbling on the verge of Dadaistic delirium as all those turns of theoretical phrase began to sound like so much blah-blah coming out of my mouth: fields of immanence, emergent relation, divisive mechanics of heteronormative social order, discursive production of gender, identity, sexuality, etc. I found myself entertaining thoughts of suddenly bursting into song or dance or, well, Dadaistic recitations and other impulsive gestures. I had enough synaptic capacity remaining to remind myself it was likely a result of a cumulative lack of sleep.
I did pass with minor revisions, though, so my work is not quite done. My defense committee liked my paper enough to consider it publishable (yay! I've finally written something more than two people will read!) and they, therefore, want to see it further refined and polished. They also want me to propose (an)other way(s) to present my project, as they thought that its presentation at Gallery1313 was probably the least well-realized aspect of my MFA work: a fair criticism with which I agree. It was a solid and intriguing 'proof of concept' but could be done greater justice. I intended to apply for grants to extend this project anyway, so this will keep the momentum going for that, as well.
My revision window is small, too, maybe two weeks at most, so my schedule will still be prioritizing this work. I'm meeting with my advisor on Wednesday to discuss details. All the same, I think I will join my fellow students in a celebratory beverage this evening.
I created a short video documentation of the project for my defense and I dusted off my Vimeo account so it is now a publicly available glimpse: http://vimeo.com/6368132
I did pass with minor revisions, though, so my work is not quite done. My defense committee liked my paper enough to consider it publishable (yay! I've finally written something more than two people will read!) and they, therefore, want to see it further refined and polished. They also want me to propose (an)other way(s) to present my project, as they thought that its presentation at Gallery1313 was probably the least well-realized aspect of my MFA work: a fair criticism with which I agree. It was a solid and intriguing 'proof of concept' but could be done greater justice. I intended to apply for grants to extend this project anyway, so this will keep the momentum going for that, as well.
My revision window is small, too, maybe two weeks at most, so my schedule will still be prioritizing this work. I'm meeting with my advisor on Wednesday to discuss details. All the same, I think I will join my fellow students in a celebratory beverage this evening.
I created a short video documentation of the project for my defense and I dusted off my Vimeo account so it is now a publicly available glimpse: http://vimeo.com/6368132
I think I'm running out of intellectual steam, here at the end of my mid-life grad school odyssey. I need to recharge and reset soon, but I have little left with which to create that space and a lot of pressure to generate income. Still, I must put that aside to get through this last stretch.
When I reach such a fatigued state I can more easily become disconnected from what drives me, those larger iterations of passion and interest so crucial to my work, so I found myself leaning back from the editing, drawn out by the simple presence of kittens, to let my thoughts wander.
Looking at the kittens, AJ and Lambert, who were looking at me, and being present with both the strangeness and familiarity of this cross-species interaction, I considered how they cannot but be true to their nature. Then, thinking about notions of 'spirit' and wondering what is really being approached (a reverent relationship to mystery manifest?) and of how I recognize people, mostly other artists, who seem connected to something of that in themselves, I contemplated my larger sense of purpose in the world.
I sometimes think one of my missions in life is to be a messenger for the value and importance of innocence and wonder, not in a naïve and unreflected sense - I have experienced first-hand some of the complex desperations and treacheries people come to, and came through them with some connection to my innocence intact (albeit with a lot of hard emotional work) - but in a way that is deeply informed by the perturbance and tragedy and injustice of life... like when I was a kitten feeder at the Toronto Humane Society I felt like my personal task, in addition to nourishing, was to tell each kitten how special they are. That is what innocence does: it allows us to see each being with newness, with an assumption of space for itself to be itself, even in the midst of multitudes and great need and suffering. Even in the rooms full of hundreds of kittens, many sick and some dying, I told each kitten they were special, if not with my voice then with my eyes and hands.
How, I wondered, does this relate to my thesis work? In the bigger picture of my life, this is where and how I want to work, directly or indirectly, to connect people with that sense of themselves and others. I want my work to speak to (and from) that place, to un-bury the innocence and allow it to communicate with the pain.
When I reach such a fatigued state I can more easily become disconnected from what drives me, those larger iterations of passion and interest so crucial to my work, so I found myself leaning back from the editing, drawn out by the simple presence of kittens, to let my thoughts wander.
Looking at the kittens, AJ and Lambert, who were looking at me, and being present with both the strangeness and familiarity of this cross-species interaction, I considered how they cannot but be true to their nature. Then, thinking about notions of 'spirit' and wondering what is really being approached (a reverent relationship to mystery manifest?) and of how I recognize people, mostly other artists, who seem connected to something of that in themselves, I contemplated my larger sense of purpose in the world.
I sometimes think one of my missions in life is to be a messenger for the value and importance of innocence and wonder, not in a naïve and unreflected sense - I have experienced first-hand some of the complex desperations and treacheries people come to, and came through them with some connection to my innocence intact (albeit with a lot of hard emotional work) - but in a way that is deeply informed by the perturbance and tragedy and injustice of life... like when I was a kitten feeder at the Toronto Humane Society I felt like my personal task, in addition to nourishing, was to tell each kitten how special they are. That is what innocence does: it allows us to see each being with newness, with an assumption of space for itself to be itself, even in the midst of multitudes and great need and suffering. Even in the rooms full of hundreds of kittens, many sick and some dying, I told each kitten they were special, if not with my voice then with my eyes and hands.
How, I wondered, does this relate to my thesis work? In the bigger picture of my life, this is where and how I want to work, directly or indirectly, to connect people with that sense of themselves and others. I want my work to speak to (and from) that place, to un-bury the innocence and allow it to communicate with the pain.
Haven't posted in awhile, again. A lot going on in my life, still. Two weeks until my thesis defense and loads of work to get through between now and then. What better time to take a giant step out of my usual context?
I'm in Honolulu visiting with my uncle and looking after the menagerie while my aunt travels to NYC with my cousin to help settle her in for law school at NYU. Of course, I've brought work with me (after backing it all up on a second hard drive that I left in Toronto) but I'm only just getting to it today, my aunt and cousin having gone off to the airport last night and me having shaken the worst of the jet lag. I went to the local farmer's market this morning for some Manoa lettuce, one ripe local papaya to tide me over until the ones my uncle and I picked by the koi pond this morning ripen in the kitchen window's afternoon sun, and some banana coconut sticky rice in banana leaf for breakfast (with the papaya).
I'm staying in the guest cottage with the rescued cat family (mama kitty and 2 14-week-old kittens), though I'm working in the house family room because, a) that's where the Internet access is and, b) the kittens will not let me work. I actually tried to write on my laptop in the cottage yesterday and it was a comedy of leaping, chewing, sniffing, swiping, grabbing and poking. I've been here four times in 16 years (Aug 1993, Mar 2003, Aug 2007 and now) and for the first time the cats (5 with newest additions) outnumber the dogs (now only 1 since the big, sweet, slobbery Irish Wolfhound died a few weeks ago). Cat person that I am, I can't say that I mind (though I empathize with my aunt's grief over Phelan's death, having so recently lost a close furry friend of my own).
I shouldn't let myself get too distracted, so I'll just post a few photos.
( My Immediate Surroundings )
( My Feline Cohabitants )
I'm in Honolulu visiting with my uncle and looking after the menagerie while my aunt travels to NYC with my cousin to help settle her in for law school at NYU. Of course, I've brought work with me (after backing it all up on a second hard drive that I left in Toronto) but I'm only just getting to it today, my aunt and cousin having gone off to the airport last night and me having shaken the worst of the jet lag. I went to the local farmer's market this morning for some Manoa lettuce, one ripe local papaya to tide me over until the ones my uncle and I picked by the koi pond this morning ripen in the kitchen window's afternoon sun, and some banana coconut sticky rice in banana leaf for breakfast (with the papaya).
I'm staying in the guest cottage with the rescued cat family (mama kitty and 2 14-week-old kittens), though I'm working in the house family room because, a) that's where the Internet access is and, b) the kittens will not let me work. I actually tried to write on my laptop in the cottage yesterday and it was a comedy of leaping, chewing, sniffing, swiping, grabbing and poking. I've been here four times in 16 years (Aug 1993, Mar 2003, Aug 2007 and now) and for the first time the cats (5 with newest additions) outnumber the dogs (now only 1 since the big, sweet, slobbery Irish Wolfhound died a few weeks ago). Cat person that I am, I can't say that I mind (though I empathize with my aunt's grief over Phelan's death, having so recently lost a close furry friend of my own).
I shouldn't let myself get too distracted, so I'll just post a few photos.
( My Immediate Surroundings )
( My Feline Cohabitants )
Every time I've gone to post a new entry it hasn't felt right. For whatever reason, however, today is the time for (reflection upon) moving on.
Miko was out of sorts for several days after Sian's death - unable to settle on the bed at night because the routine of Sian taking first position on my legs had been broken, looking at Sian's sitting/sleeping spots, staying close to me and meowing insistently more often than usual - but she has adjusted to being the only cat.
( Reflections on Writing )
( Reflections on Routine and Health )
I still have a dozen little projects to get done around my new home, but things are generally settling enough for me to get through the work needed to finish my MFA degree and start preparing for what comes next.
Miko was out of sorts for several days after Sian's death - unable to settle on the bed at night because the routine of Sian taking first position on my legs had been broken, looking at Sian's sitting/sleeping spots, staying close to me and meowing insistently more often than usual - but she has adjusted to being the only cat.
( Reflections on Writing )
( Reflections on Routine and Health )
I still have a dozen little projects to get done around my new home, but things are generally settling enough for me to get through the work needed to finish my MFA degree and start preparing for what comes next.
At around 8PM, with the support of a local veterinarian and vet tech, Sian slipped quietly away at home in my arms. I am grateful to my mum and step-dad who looked after the kids so my sister Averill could be with Sian and I, too.
Although the surgery to correct her diaphragmatic hernia was successful and she enjoyed a brief period of full recovery, Sian's health began to decline in various ways over the last couple of months until finally her body was full of displaced fluids and she had great difficulty breathing.
Sian was a gift of loving, playful, furry joy who enriched my life for nine years. I miss her terribly already but know that it was time for her to go.
Be well my kitten, my little love, my Sian.
Although the surgery to correct her diaphragmatic hernia was successful and she enjoyed a brief period of full recovery, Sian's health began to decline in various ways over the last couple of months until finally her body was full of displaced fluids and she had great difficulty breathing.
Sian was a gift of loving, playful, furry joy who enriched my life for nine years. I miss her terribly already but know that it was time for her to go.
Be well my kitten, my little love, my Sian.
...which I fratzed with weeks of bending, lifting, lugging (down and up stairs) and schlepping (to/from the car/truck).
Still ignorant of what exactly I'd done to myself, I thought that with the moving process winding down I could just throw anti-inflammatory pills, hot baths, rest with pillows under my knees at it and I would be fine in a few days. How wrong I was.
The pain in the centre of my right buttock and shooting down my leg became steadily worse until Thursday morning I could barely get out of bed (gingerly backwards on hands and knees) or walk. A friend recommended her chiropractor and I was lucky enough to get an appointment that day. Previously wary of chiropractors, I was willing to try one trusted by a good friend who'd had positive results and with two (gentle, brief) treatments over two days, plus a supportive (sacral?) belt, I am feeling *a lot* less pain. The DC I saw said she was concerned there may be disk damage so radiographs were requisitioned, which I had done yesterday. I'm bringing the CD to my appointment this morning, so we'll see what's what.
All this has made finishing the audio for my project rather more difficult as sitting is now what aggravates most. But things are coming together and by cutting a certain corner (edit directly in FCP instead of editing in ProTools and importing back to FCP - not nearly as refined but still passable) I can still have my installation ready in time for the Thursday opening. I'll be setting up the physical portion on Monday. I have my work cut out for me this weekend!
Ryerson's Documentary Now! documentary media festival website:
http://www.documentarynow.ca/
The Facebook event page for Doc/Now! at Gallery1313 is:
http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=10
Still ignorant of what exactly I'd done to myself, I thought that with the moving process winding down I could just throw anti-inflammatory pills, hot baths, rest with pillows under my knees at it and I would be fine in a few days. How wrong I was.
The pain in the centre of my right buttock and shooting down my leg became steadily worse until Thursday morning I could barely get out of bed (gingerly backwards on hands and knees) or walk. A friend recommended her chiropractor and I was lucky enough to get an appointment that day. Previously wary of chiropractors, I was willing to try one trusted by a good friend who'd had positive results and with two (gentle, brief) treatments over two days, plus a supportive (sacral?) belt, I am feeling *a lot* less pain. The DC I saw said she was concerned there may be disk damage so radiographs were requisitioned, which I had done yesterday. I'm bringing the CD to my appointment this morning, so we'll see what's what.
All this has made finishing the audio for my project rather more difficult as sitting is now what aggravates most. But things are coming together and by cutting a certain corner (edit directly in FCP instead of editing in ProTools and importing back to FCP - not nearly as refined but still passable) I can still have my installation ready in time for the Thursday opening. I'll be setting up the physical portion on Monday. I have my work cut out for me this weekend!
Ryerson's Documentary Now! documentary media festival website:
http://www.documentarynow.ca/
The Facebook event page for Doc/Now! at Gallery1313 is:
http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=10
Today I got my knives sharpened by one of those old guys who drives around in a truck ringing a big brass bell (from a rope tied to the steering column).
I watched him work through the little side window, but turned away now and again to look at the trees and bushes, so as not to make him feel under too close scrutiny. I noticed a curious thing: my west neighbour has a mulberry bush that's grown inside of another tree and has sprouted branches through its trunk.
I watched him work through the little side window, but turned away now and again to look at the trees and bushes, so as not to make him feel under too close scrutiny. I noticed a curious thing: my west neighbour has a mulberry bush that's grown inside of another tree and has sprouted branches through its trunk.
Big move is done. Cats adjusted well. DSL set up was delayed. Still unpacking. Still tying up loose moving ends (bringing in car load of plants next). Exhausted and have anxiety knots in stomach about getting project done for 11 June gallery opening. So, online presence will continue to be sporadic and sparse, just for different reasons.
Tomorrow morning the movers arrive to haul the big stuff and heavy boxes to my new home. My phone line will be disconnected in the morning and, if all goes well, reconnected at the new place by 5PM. Unfortunately, it will take longer for my DSL (not Bell Sympatico) to be transferred (26 May I was told). So I will be online sporadically until then, either at school or nearby locations with free wireless internet.
Although I've been preparing and packing for what feels like weeks, I still have a lot to get ready before 9AM, such as dismantling the futon couch, clearing the dining table (and a few other surfaces), securing various drawers, labeling, tucking away the odds and ends I'm going to deal with after the big move. I wouldn't even be as prepared as I am without the generous assistance ofclockwork_zero, who helped me run a load to the new place, cleaned the 'fridge there while I unloaded, and helped me pack until 11:30PM, all for a Salad King dinner and some wine.
The cats have been amazingly OK amid the chaos, even visitingclockwork_zero and I in the kitchen tonight, Miko joining the conversation, Sian wanting bits of cheese. I think it helps that the basic routine of nighttime cuddles, morning cuddles and breakfast hasn't changed, plus I've been home a lot sorting and packing. It will be interesting to see how Miko adjusts to a new environment since she has never lived anywhere else. Sian came with me to New York so I know she will adapt, though I hope her more fragile health will not be negatively impacted. I'm going to set up the bedroom first, then bring them into just that room, with food and litter, for initial adjustment. I think they'll be fine with me there a lot and the basic routine continuing.
I'd better get back to it now because I would actually like to get a few hours sleep, too!
Although I've been preparing and packing for what feels like weeks, I still have a lot to get ready before 9AM, such as dismantling the futon couch, clearing the dining table (and a few other surfaces), securing various drawers, labeling, tucking away the odds and ends I'm going to deal with after the big move. I wouldn't even be as prepared as I am without the generous assistance of
clockwork_zero, who helped me run a load to the new place, cleaned the 'fridge there while I unloaded, and helped me pack until 11:30PM, all for a Salad King dinner and some wine.The cats have been amazingly OK amid the chaos, even visiting
clockwork_zero and I in the kitchen tonight, Miko joining the conversation, Sian wanting bits of cheese. I think it helps that the basic routine of nighttime cuddles, morning cuddles and breakfast hasn't changed, plus I've been home a lot sorting and packing. It will be interesting to see how Miko adjusts to a new environment since she has never lived anywhere else. Sian came with me to New York so I know she will adapt, though I hope her more fragile health will not be negatively impacted. I'm going to set up the bedroom first, then bring them into just that room, with food and litter, for initial adjustment. I think they'll be fine with me there a lot and the basic routine continuing.I'd better get back to it now because I would actually like to get a few hours sleep, too!
My posts have been sporadic and sparse because there is so much going on in my life these days, mostly good but requiring attention, thought and hard work nonetheless. Hot Docs and the Doc U are over (though I still have to write a one-page summary of my experience) and now my upcoming move is taking centre stage.
Although I've been doing small moving-related things almost every day, I'll be spending the larger part of the next four days packing and preparing for the Big Stuff Move on Wednesday morning. I do, however, have a couple little breaks planned to have coffee with Averill this morning and to celebrate Sharon's new teaching job up north tonight.
I've pretty much wrapped my thesis project, having got the last pick-up shots and interview done this week, though I am wrangling with some manner of technical problem that is preventing transfer of video data from the P2 cards. Mum is transcribing the interviews, for which I am immensely grateful as transcripts will make the editing process so much easier. Fortunately, I was able to defer my defense date because there is no way I'm finishing a thesis paper along with everything else I'm juggling this month.
The kitties are doing mostly well. Miko's allergy shots proceed apace (no adverse reactions so far) and while Sian continues to have retchy episodes, they seem to be decreasing in intensity and duration.
Although I've been doing small moving-related things almost every day, I'll be spending the larger part of the next four days packing and preparing for the Big Stuff Move on Wednesday morning. I do, however, have a couple little breaks planned to have coffee with Averill this morning and to celebrate Sharon's new teaching job up north tonight.
I've pretty much wrapped my thesis project, having got the last pick-up shots and interview done this week, though I am wrangling with some manner of technical problem that is preventing transfer of video data from the P2 cards. Mum is transcribing the interviews, for which I am immensely grateful as transcripts will make the editing process so much easier. Fortunately, I was able to defer my defense date because there is no way I'm finishing a thesis paper along with everything else I'm juggling this month.
The kitties are doing mostly well. Miko's allergy shots proceed apace (no adverse reactions so far) and while Sian continues to have retchy episodes, they seem to be decreasing in intensity and duration.
Biking home tonight after a Hot Docs screening and dinner with mum, I noticed 42 Borden St. had a bright red-lit house number sign, as did 42 Ulster St., which I turned onto from Borden. A third bright red-lit 42 would have been eerie, but two in close succession is coincidence enough on my 42nd birthday.
...to life, the universe and everything.
Forty-two.
I have arrived.
Forty-two.
I have arrived.
It is maybe about 8 to 12 hours sooner than recommended, but I took Sian's shirt off tonight after inspecting her incision and finding it quite healed with only a few remaining teeny scabby bits flaking off. I will still confine her to the bedroom when I'm not home, but she is also maintaining a lower activity level on her own even when I'm around.
Sian was quite happy to be free of clothing and she purred and purred. Patting her, kissing her and looking at her I realized (again? anew?) just how ridiculously much I love my wee Sian.
Sian was quite happy to be free of clothing and she purred and purred. Patting her, kissing her and looking at her I realized (again? anew?) just how ridiculously much I love my wee Sian.
My Freewill Astrology Horoscope for this week is themed "Healthy Obsessions" and so, while I've been able to get my head back into my thesis project, writing installation proposals and applying for jobs, as various urgent matters pass on to the 'done' pile, I have found it difficult to resist putting significant cognitive resources into my new abode. I've looked at paint colours, I've calculated the square footage of certain rooms, I drafted a change of address message, looked up the Walk Score for the area, and I even booked a mover today. Then, when I'd had enough sitting at the computer by 4:30PM I took the 501 Queen streetcar out to my new neighbourhood to walk around and take photos of my next place of residence. Here's one of them:
I walked from Queen St. E. and Lee Ave., took photos, then walked up Main St. to Danforth, noticing with glee a Carribean café called Delicious Delight that advertised Calaloo with shrimp, followed by disappointment that it is closed Mondays. Instead, I sampled a potato latke and beet salad at an eclectic deli (apparently Scottish and Austrian between the haggis and bratwurst). I walked back down Main St. and past my future residence once more, then along Gerrard St. E. all the way to Little India (or, more offically, Gerrard India Bazaar), where I was tempted to eat at Udupi Palace even though I was still quite full of latke and beets. I got on a 506 Carlton streetcar at Greenwood Ave. and came home.
It still feels far away, but when I got back to Spadina and Queen, I felt like I was visiting my old neighbourhood as though I'd already moved away. Emphasizing this projection into the future was the downstairs neighbours putting on bassy music not long after I got in the door, and I thought, "Soon I will never hear this in my home again."
I walked from Queen St. E. and Lee Ave., took photos, then walked up Main St. to Danforth, noticing with glee a Carribean café called Delicious Delight that advertised Calaloo with shrimp, followed by disappointment that it is closed Mondays. Instead, I sampled a potato latke and beet salad at an eclectic deli (apparently Scottish and Austrian between the haggis and bratwurst). I walked back down Main St. and past my future residence once more, then along Gerrard St. E. all the way to Little India (or, more offically, Gerrard India Bazaar), where I was tempted to eat at Udupi Palace even though I was still quite full of latke and beets. I got on a 506 Carlton streetcar at Greenwood Ave. and came home.
It still feels far away, but when I got back to Spadina and Queen, I felt like I was visiting my old neighbourhood as though I'd already moved away. Emphasizing this projection into the future was the downstairs neighbours putting on bassy music not long after I got in the door, and I thought, "Soon I will never hear this in my home again."
Dr. K at Bathurst-Dupont Animal Hospital examined Sian this morning and was pleased with her recovery. She's down a little in weight (6.3 lbs from her usual 6.5, but she's probably still gaining from what she lost closer to the surgery) but her heart and breathing are good. He removed Sian's sutures noting that the incision has healed nicely. However, Dr. K recommended keeping Sian in her shirt a few more days so the holes where the stitches were can heal with some protection. He also recommended keeping her activity restricted another couple of weeks, so I will continue to confine Sian to my bedroom when I'm not home. She has been good at regulating herself (no running and leaping about, hasn't tried to climb the shelves, goes up and down the cat tree one step at a time) so I've been letting her wander freely when I'm around.
I also told Dr. K about her diet (updating him on Miko's as well) and he said there's nothing wrong with feeding Sian cooked fish and shrimp, so that's what she'll be getting, along with the dry food she likes. Dr. K said if her recovery continues to go this well she won't need to come in again but he asked me to call in about three weeks to report on her progress. He also said another round of radiographs in a couple months might be good just to see how everything looks inside.
So, Sian isn't too thrilled at having to wear the shirt awhile longer, but she is doing wonderfully well overall. Thanks to everyone who has taken an interest in Sian throughout this ordeal!
I also told Dr. K about her diet (updating him on Miko's as well) and he said there's nothing wrong with feeding Sian cooked fish and shrimp, so that's what she'll be getting, along with the dry food she likes. Dr. K said if her recovery continues to go this well she won't need to come in again but he asked me to call in about three weeks to report on her progress. He also said another round of radiographs in a couple months might be good just to see how everything looks inside.
So, Sian isn't too thrilled at having to wear the shirt awhile longer, but she is doing wonderfully well overall. Thanks to everyone who has taken an interest in Sian throughout this ordeal!
Short version:
I'm moving in May!
Long version:
( Background )
( Opportunity Knocks )
( I Open the Door )
I do wonder what my future will look like professionally and financially after I graduate, but I feel strongly that opening this area of my life, making a peaceful haven and creative work space for myself, cannot but benefit all my other dealings in the world. It will be an adjustment, no doubt, but my sense is that I've made a good choice and that any nervous moments are the normal anxiety that accompanies *any* change. It is a big leap, but it is the right big leap.
I will send private messages to family and friends with my new address soon. Now I must turn my attention back to my thesis work.
I'm moving in May!
Long version:
( Background )
( Opportunity Knocks )
( I Open the Door )
I do wonder what my future will look like professionally and financially after I graduate, but I feel strongly that opening this area of my life, making a peaceful haven and creative work space for myself, cannot but benefit all my other dealings in the world. It will be an adjustment, no doubt, but my sense is that I've made a good choice and that any nervous moments are the normal anxiety that accompanies *any* change. It is a big leap, but it is the right big leap.
I will send private messages to family and friends with my new address soon. Now I must turn my attention back to my thesis work.
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